Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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