the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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