I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
