Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
