i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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