the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
