Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
