why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
