I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
