But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
