i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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