I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
