just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
