My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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