so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
