Need sex. Gaining weight.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
