i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
false alarm. still invincible.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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