i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
