I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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