I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's shark week go big or go home
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
