Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
