And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will pee on everything he values.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
