We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
