Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
