You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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