she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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