i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
