how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
