Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
