Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
