i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
