You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
