that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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