we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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