We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
