So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
