does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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