I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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