If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
