omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
