the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
