its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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