Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Terrible idea I love it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
