I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
