You can't special order awesome
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
