There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
