??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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