who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
