i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
