TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
